Who Am I?

Hey everyone! I started Becoming Still because I have seen in the world around me, and in myself, a distance from God that I’m not happy with. So I’m starting with the man (I mean… woman) in the mirror.

Now I could tell you some of the superficial things about me. Twenty years old. College student just trying to graduate so I can move on to seminary. I like loose-leaf tea, devouring books and learning anything new, whether it’s a new language, a new instrument, or even just learning how to drive stick. (I’m going to need prayers for the last one).

But is that really what you care about? Do you really read blogs just to learn fun trivial facts about strangers? I mean, if so, all power to you. I don’t judge. But I have a feeling you’re here for more than that. You’re here to read something that you can apply to your own life. No guarantees that it will be life changing (though that would be so cool) but I’d thought I’d start my first post with my beginning. My testimony.

I’ve always believed in God and loved church and sermons but I still felt like communication with God was my monologue then His, not a conversation. I felt like the love of God was important, but not enough. I still believed I couldn’t survive without acceptance from someone, anyone, else.

After a miserable year full of death, abandonment and many panic attacks I found myself completely alone and abandoned. I didn’t have anyone else. God was my only hope of survival.

I’ve been reading Christian books for a while, devouring them really, and finally I found one that saved me. Many of you might have heard it. One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp.

It taught me how to have a conversation with God not a monologue. Once I learned that, I finally got to actually know Him, and I learned that He was enough. I’ve learned two words that have become my mantra; pray and listen.

“pray without ceasing”

1 Thessalonians 5:17 (ESV)

“For God speaks time and time again but nobody notices”

Job 33:14 (ISV)

I would have never been able to get through without Him. My whole world was crushed. Now it’s made right. Being able to communicate gave me a sense of love and belonging when all I ever knew before was fickleness and rejection.

I really appreciate any and all of you who follow me into my journey of closeness with God through Becoming Still. I would love to get to know you. So go ahead. Tell me your testimony. Even if mine wasn’t life changing to you, yours may be to someone else. Yours may be life changing to me.

All of God’s Blessings,

Jillian